blog 62

blog 62

Something that really scares me is the unknown.  I’m scared of the future and the reason is because I’m afraid that my life won’t turn out how I want it to turn out.  I’m afraid that everything that I’ve looked forward to in my life will come to no fruition and that everything I’ve wanted is never going to happen.  To be honest (and probably rude) I’m afraid that I’m going to end up living in a trailer with my 13 children who will most likely not graduate high school.  I’m just afraid of being broke when I grow up and not being able to support my family.  I know money isn’t very important, but you have to agree that it’s somewhat important.  I’m afraid that I will end up worthless and that no one will have respect for me when I’m older.  You know the people I’m talking about, the people who look like they are so unintelligent and that they live I a trailer, I’m really afraid that I’m going to become one of these people.  The mom’s who have to stretch the paycheck to make ends meet, who are so frustrated with life, living in a middle class home and generally not happy.  Mostly, I’m afraid that in the future, I’m going to become the embodiment of everything I don’t want to become.   This is why the unknown scares me so much because the future is so up in the air and everything is practically played by ear and that it is everything I hate to  do.  I like a clear, concise plan and quite frankly, I just can’t have one of those.